cumulus counselling

Peer support helps fighting depression

2011-02-24T12:56:00.004Z

A shared problem is a halved problem, I always learned. It's good to get your worries of your chest, but than it doesn't mean that they have been resolved. However it is good to know that you are not the only one who is experiencing a curtain issue. Talking with peers can give you a idea's on what you can do. It can also give you a sense of belonging.
There is never just one factor that will solve the problem or make the pain go away. It is a cluster of things, some of them are small things and some of them are major, like therapy. But you shouldn't under estimate the so called smaller factors. This could be poetry, music, painting, creative writing and talking and sharing with peers. I for example wrote my autobiography. The work was 60,000 words in total and when it was finally in the correct order, it was a big mess at first, my mind was in a similar state.
What happened was that during the process of writing I been able to move forward had taken a huge step towards my recovery.

A similar result can be reached in groups, one can either have discussions or do any form of art and later discus the work.

However research have shown that some people prefer to go on line to share their problems, whether this is as effective as face to face group contact is questionable.

read more

What is your mental health worth

2011-02-08T15:21:00.000Z

A new form of counselling was launched in the early days of the Internet some 12 years ago. People who didn’t have the time or possibility to go to a therapist could now consult a counsellor via the Net. And so Online Counselling or Cyber Counselling was born.

In the 21st century there are still people who believe a person only goes to a mental health professional when there is nothing else that can be done for them. First we go to a doctor when symptoms of depression are bothering us. An obvious reaction of the doctor treating the patient is to give him or her anti-depressants. Although they might work for some people but anti-depressants are not suppose to be taken for prolonged times. Nevertheless most people do take them for years and some people never stop taking them.

When is it time to visit a counsellor or psychologist

2011-02-06T20:25:00.001Z

Every one has a period in their life when they either go through a difficult period or when they need some advice. Most of the time you can solve this on your own or with the help of a family member or a friend. However there are times when it is better to turn to a stranger who is specialised in dealing with specific situations. The reason for this is that a friend or family member, although he or she does their best to help you might be afraid to hurt your feelings and will thread carefully. Read further below;
when to Go to a Counsellor or Psychotherapist

Children forced to take psychiatric drugs

2010-12-11T17:19:00.001Z

A Mom Speaks Out: "My Son Is Forced to Take Psychiatric Drugs!"

Cindi Fisher is a MindFreedom member in the State of Washington. Her adult son's name is Siddharta Fisher, 33, and he's being drugged against his will and over the family's permission at Washington State Hospital. Cindi has even done a three-day fast every week. Please hear Cindi's call for support.
Siddharta is not the only one, please read more below.

http://www.mindfreedom.org/as/act/us/mf-wash/cindi-fisher?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=facebook

I want a job and I want it now.

2010-05-30T23:02:00.001+01:00

I want a job and I want it now

Are you one of the many people who have been made redundant or have never had the chance to work? The frustration is going to become even bigger as the new generation of school leavers will try to approach the market. They might be lucky getting low paid jobs because of their age and inexperience. Some employers are keen on unexpierenced or forgeign worker because they don't know what their rights are, or don't know who to approach when in trouble. But many are happy they have a job to send money home where they might only earn € 100 a week. Nevertheless, you who have been applying for each and every job that might possibly suit your skills and experience still sit at home. Many of you might have barely enough money in the bank to keep up with the mortgage or rent payments or are behind in their payments.

I don't have the answers here as how to get out of the downwards financial spiral, but one thing I can advise you if you haven't done so already: set up an standing order with your mortgage lender for an amount you are able to pay each month. You might have to lower the payments, paying something is always better than nothing. And so is it the other way around on the receiving end. Forget about the other payments you need to make, except for the electricity, your car insurance, and perhaps your medical insurance you can pay them via direct debit, so you can't spend that money.

How much are you worth?

If you have been working at a particular job doing a particular thing for which you didn't need a skill, or you did need a special skill it might be that while you are looking for a new job you might lack in certain skills or you need to update them. Now you're unemployed you have plenty of time to re-new those skills and learn new ones. This is a opportunity to create a new life for yourself. That's not easy and can be a daunting task, especially if you have little or no money to spare, but it is worth to check out the possibility of getting an allowance towards the study costs. Don't be fixed on getting a job or doing a course for the sake of it, or a guidance counsellor at the job centre who said that was a perfect match for you. You need to want to do it, think about what you want to get out of the job or course and than I mean not only money. Eighty percent of people who are in employment dislike their job. Now is you chance to get something better.To prepare yourself to get something you really want to do. This means you have to put time, (which you have plenty) effort and money into it. When you do get that allowance for that course don't hesitate to do voluntary work if the field your studying is new to you. I'm sure you're worth spending a bit of effort and money on.

I'm not saying get off your backside and find a job, but I'm saying use the time wise while you're unemployed to sharpen, and get new skills for the coming future. Don't be afraid to look out of your comfort zone, there might be something out there you've never heard about and for which you can use your long forgotten skill. Or perhaps you have a skill you didn't know about. So have I recently discovered how easy tile setting is.

How to deal with a panic attack

2010-05-06T10:27:00.002+01:00

A friend of my has recently stopped abusing alcohol for the ?? time. This time he beliefs he is going to beat the addiction for real. His doctor has given him Librium to control the effects of the withdrawal of the alcohol. The result was that his reactions were so slow that he seemed to be sleep waking. Lucky he was only to take the Librium for ten days, building off from the start.

Alcohol can play strange tricks with the mind and do a lot of damage to the brain. Which had happened to this person. During his excessive alcohol abuse he had developed symptoms of schizophrenia, like delusions, anxiety and panic attacks or psychosis as some people the latter call.
There are many people like this person and there are also many people labeled schizophrenic by mistake.

What is a panic attack

Unlike an anxiety attack a panic attack is reasonable good to treat. You might seem surprised that I say this, but I have experienced two myself within a months time of each other. It was my mother who urged me to seek professional help at a clinic in town. I was lucky and got an appointment the same week, from then on a extremely difficult period of about a year commenced, but never again was I attacked by such a fear as in those two panic attacks.

I still don't know how they actually began, but in the middle of the night I was suddenly strangled by a immense fear that seemed to come directly from the devil. I was shaking all over my body and was hot and cold at the same time. The thoughts in my head were so dark that I felt as like being in a never ending whirlpool. It must have stopped at some time, but I do not know how long this took. During an attack people can have a black out, see or hear things that aren't real (hallucinations).

Why do people get panic attacks

We all carry our memories wanted or unwanted with us in our mobile computer the brain. When there are things we rather forget or have hurt us we do our best to cover them up by applying a defence mechanism. This is working in a different way with children because their brain isn't fully developed yet. These coping skills a child learns its self are or might be useful in that particular period, but there comes a time they are outdated and have to be replaced. The transition for the replacement can be started by will, which was the case with me. I will write about this later in another post. However in most cases the transition takes place involuntarily.
A thricker might be:

the birth of your first child
the death of a relative or friend
marriage
moving out of the parental house
or any major change in your live

Your brain has being busy over the last couple of years, maybe it was a decade or perhaps it was even longer, but now a few of the screws which were doggy from the time you had your bad experience come lose and the whole thing gets into a terrible tumult. Of course this is a metaphor. What I mean is that two parts in the brain, the Hippocampus and the Amgdala are sending each other the wrong messages.

The only thing that can be done now is to seek professional help. Unfortunately the waiting lists at the clinics and other free health centres are long and it can be too late for many people before they get the help they need. Many people chose to go to their doctor and he or she often prescribes them an anti-depressant or sends the patient through to a psychiatrist, who then medicates the person with an anti-psychotic drug.
But these medications aren't the answer. You might say they keep the hallucinations and the panic away. They might but the underlying cause is still there and the patient has to take the medication for the rest of his or her life and has many side effects, like shaking and weight gain. I have a lot more to say but I leave that for another day.

How to cope with the loss of a loved one.

2010-02-04T19:45:00.003Z

As we get older we all experience loss throughout our life. Death is as much a part of reality as life itself. Although live can bring us many surprises and many choices have to be made along the path of existence, there is one thing we cannot choose; the time of our death and the fact that a friend or family member once must die as well. This unfortunate faith is in the best of times hard to accept. It is not uncommon that people no matter how strong they might have been have difficulties coping with a loss. It is of great importance that after someone lost a loved one the mourner accomplice the process of grieving.

Task one: Acceptance the reality of loss.

The first task is to accept that the person has died. The person is gone and will not come back. In the beginning, just after the death it is quite normal to put a plate out for the deceased or to make a telephone call to tell the deceased some news. We need to get used to what happened. Everyone is different and need more or less time to go through this stage than others. As long as the mourner realises that person is not longer alive anymore. It takes time to come to terms with what happened. Rituals like the funeral may help mourners to move towards acceptance.

Task two: Work through the pain of grief.

It is necessary to acknowledge and to go through the psychological pain. If this is delayed or ignored the person will manifest symptoms and behaviours, like depression, anger, psycho-somatic pains, or other. Therefore a bereaved person should not be afraid of his or her emotions in the days after the death has taken place. A perfect option to express these feelings is at the funeral and directly after one hears the bad news. At the wake or after the funeral is good to talk to the people attending, in order to console each other.

However not everyone is able to do this and has difficulties expression themselves. These are usually the people who keep busy with tending to the guests and hid themselves in the kitchen to tidy up, or sit quietly in a corner. They might think that they have to keep it together for the ‘weaker’ members of the family, like the children, but nothing is further from the truth. By denying their feelings they only prolong the process and in the long run it’s not only themselves that suffer but also the children. It is at stage two that many people get lost with a severe depression as a result. When involved in a depression it is far more difficult to work through the pain of bereavement.

Task three: Adjusting to the environment in which the deceased is missing.

Depending on the relationship the mourner had with the deceased this can be a very daunting task. Often one has to learn new skills such as dealing with the finance, learn how to cook or talking with authority figures. Other practical adjustments when losing a partner have to be made as well, like sleeping alone in a big cold bed, or cooking less food. A person might have to learn new social skills, as the lost of a partner or close friend might leave the person on its own or with little or no friends. The longer the relationship the harder this is. Therefore it might be necessary to seek help with this task. One can seek help for the practical things and do a course and one can become a member of a group in order to get support and assist each other.

Task four: To emotionally relocate the deceased and move on with life.

As the title suggest; in this task the survivor learn to give the deceased a different place in their heart. Some people say, “He still has a special place in my heart.” That is good, because there is no need to forget the person you loved, although one cannot reach or touch that person any longer and therefore room must be made for other people or for another special person. It is impossible to forget a deceased there will always be memories of this person and it is alright to think and talk about the deceased from time to time. Another thing which is good is keep a photograph of this person in the living room. It might take some time before a survivor is ready to emotionally relocate the deceased and this task should not be rushed by outsiders.

This last task can be hindered when people want to hold on to the past. For many people this is the most difficult task to accomplish, they get stuck in this task and in the past. Nevertheless there is enough place in our heart to love a new person and doing so doesn’t mean that we forget the deceased.

When is mourning finished?

The process of mourning is finished when the survivor is able to think and talk about the deceased without emotional pain. How long this will take depends on the relationship.

Calm After the Storm
by A.N. Flores

darkness fades
suns rise
skies clear
storms die

wounds heal
spirits fly
souls hope
hearts sigh

stories end
dreams die
you're gone
I survive

More poems

How you can conquer anxiety.

2009-12-17T13:12:00.001Z

Anxiety is one of the most complicated mental issues a person can have. We all understand that when we are having a job interview or a meeting with a doctor that we might be nervous for this. This is perfectly normal. In a situation like that or when we feel we are in danger it is a normal reaction to protect outself from the unkown and for potential treats to our health, whether it is psychological or psychical. The fact that we can't control the situation is making us vunerable. In the case of doing an exam it is of the essence that the examinee has prepared her or himself and studied the topics so that there is a good chance to succeed. This way one can take easily control over the situation, however there are people who done all this and when the moment of truth is there they have seemly forgotten what they have learned. In those cases it might be appropriate to ask your doctor for a mild sedative. This type of anxiety will wear off.

When is anxiety more than a temporary thing?

When a person feels tense, irritable, nervous for no particular reason, there might be an underlaying cause for the ailment. Strangly enough it isn't always so easy to anxiety identify anxiety. Most of the time long term anxiety goes hand in hand with depression and psychosomatic pains or ailments, like irritable bowel sydrom, headages, or other pains or illnesses. Long term anxiety can be caused by a trauma in the past, for example an accident or abuse when the person was a child. Even when the person has been threated for the trauma in hospital or had sessions with a psychologist or psychiatrist the anxiety can linger and may eventually go and live a life of its own. Espcially when the the person was a child the brain had not been fully developed at the time of the trauma. The result might be that the brain gives the wrong information to the patient. For example it says that the person is in danger all the time, the result being that he or she is vilgilent all the time.
If a person has been to counselling sessions and have worked through their trauma and he or she is still having re-acurring symptoms of depression and anxiety, it might be time to consult the family doctor and ask for medication. Needless to say is that all medications have pro's and con's and drugs should always be the last resort.

You fnd more information on anxiety at helpguide.org

The Christmas blues

2009-12-16T11:53:00.000Z

Christmas is only a few days away and most people with children have the Christmas tree up already. Plans are made what to eat and where to eat. Nobody wants to be alone with Christmas and yet there will be many people alone with Christmas this year again. Some people are alone for the first time this year after they lost their partner. Others are alone for a long time already and they are used to it. Being alone doesn't have to be such a deal on an ordinary day, but with Christimas the attention on TV and other commercial outlets are even more focussed on friends and family than on normal days. They don't seem to be giving any attention to people who are living alone and have little or no family left. These are not only elderly people I am talking about, there are many young people who have lost contact with their realative for one or other reason.

When to visit a psychologist or counsellor

2009-12-15T12:22:00.000Z